I Simply Cant Be......

It had been pouring for two days 
Nothing seemed wetter than the earth 
But was I relieved? 
Was the sense of living seized from my soul? 
Sparks of Heaven’s energy split the heart of the sky open 
What is going on? 
Is it a day to day calamity or am I feeling too philosophical? 
Whatever it is, it certainly is not good. 
No idea as to where I’m going. 
No sense of what I’m doing. 
A feel of ignorance 
Of incomplete realization. 
The pang of being left out… 
Why does it have to affect me? 
My mates..they were supposed to call me 
Was I not the one who proposed the idea? 
Even my mom, 
She would not look at me but simply weep 
To ask my dad when I went he 
Looked busy 
Did not hear me..! 
The reason for me being out on a night like this! 
Driving along the highway I have reached my home… 
But what is that? 
My car…still parked on the lawn? 
What was I driving then? 
I wasn’t even drunk! 
I ran towards my house 
The glass door refused to reflect me 
I… I am awake for sure 
Or am I sleeping forever? 
My mom’s in the kitchen 
Didn’t respond to the doorbell 
There’s blossom on the floor 
A picture of mine never before had been 
Hung with the Gods… 
What were they playing at? 
Whatever it is I’m not in the game… 
Not in the game 
And then like a ball of fire being forced 
Into the black hole 
I enlightened 
I had not opened the door of the car… 
I ran through 
And the same with the door… 
I certainly can’t be…